Working Memory and Shoe Tying — Why Your Child Forgets the Steps Mid-Knot

The short answer

Working memory is the brain's ability to hold information in mind while actively using it. Shoe tying demands a lot of it: your child has to remember the next step while their hands are still completing the current one. If working memory is shaky — common in kids with ADHD, language delays, or just developmental immaturity — the sequence collapses mid-knot, not because the child forgot how to tie, but because the next step fell out of their head while they were busy with the current one.

I am Bobby Morong, a special education teacher. Working memory is one of the most under-recognized reasons kids stall on shoe tying. Here is what it actually is, how it shows up specifically in the laces, and how to reduce the load.

What is working memory?

Working memory is short-term active memory — not just storing information, but USING it while you do something else. It is the system that lets you remember a phone number while you walk to the phone, hold the next ingredient in mind while measuring the current one, or recall the next step of an instruction while your hands are busy with the previous one.

It is different from long-term memory. A child can know the full shoe-tying sequence perfectly in their long-term memory — they can recite it back, they can demonstrate it slowly — and still lose it the moment their hands are loaded with the actual task. That is a working memory issue, not a knowing issue.

How working memory shows up in shoe tying

Shoe tying is full of working-memory-heavy moments:

• Remembering which lace goes over and which goes under, while your hands are mid-cross
• Holding step 4 in mind while your fingers complete step 3
• Recalling "now wrap around" while you are simultaneously pinching the loop
• Not losing track of whether you are on the first knot or the bow part

For a child with reliable working memory, none of this is conscious — it just runs in the background. For a child with weak working memory, every moment of "what comes next" empties out under the load of the current step.

Signs your child may have working memory load issues with tying

Watch for these patterns:

• They can tell you the steps perfectly when not tying
• They forget the next step right after they finish the previous one
• They start over from step 1 every time, even if they had already gotten further
• They ask "what's next?" repeatedly during the same task
• They lose focus visibly in the middle of a step
• The same struggles show up in handwriting (forgetting which letter comes next mid-word) and following multi-step directions

If several ring true, working memory is likely a real contributor. Kids with ADHD, language processing differences, and autism often have this profile. So do many neurotypical 5- and 6-year-olds — working memory matures gradually through childhood.

How to reduce the working memory demand

The principle: store the sequence somewhere OUTSIDE your child's head so they do not have to hold it all internally during the task. Three practical methods:

1. Visual step cards

A small laminated card with picture or icon for each step, placed where the child can glance at it. Externalizes the sequence. They look, do, look, do. They are not holding step 4 in their head while doing step 3 — it is on the card.

2. Fixed verbal script

Pick 5–6 short phrases for the steps and say them in exactly the same order, exactly the same way, every single time. After enough repetitions the script lives in the child's ear without effort, and they can rely on hearing it instead of holding it internally.

3. Chunking

Break the sequence into 2–3 chunks instead of 14 individual steps. Bunny ears can be three chunks: "first knot," "make two loops," "loop the loops." Working memory can hold three chunks much more easily than fourteen steps.

How a scaffold reduces the working memory load

If you cannot remember step 4 while your hands are stuck doing step 3 over and over because the lace keeps collapsing, your working memory never even gets to step 4. Stopping the lace collapse means each step actually finishes, freeing your child's attention to load the NEXT step into working memory.

Training Ties® places checkpoints on the lace at the two moments where shoe tying typically collapses. With the lace held steady, your child completes each step — which means their working memory only has to hold one step at a time instead of holding the whole "please don't fall apart" anxiety alongside the next-step memory. The cognitive load drops noticeably.

Why this matters beyond shoe tying

Working memory is foundational to handwriting (holding the next letter while writing the current one), reading comprehension (holding sentence 1 while reading sentence 2), arithmetic (carrying the 1 while adding the 7), and following directions of any length. Building it through scaffolded tasks like shoe tying — with visual supports and chunking — pays off across the school day.

Related guides

• Motor planning guide — why smart kids still can't tie
• Bilateral coordination and shoe tying
• Proprioception and shoe tying
• ADHD and shoe tying
• Task analysis of shoe tying
• Shoe tying glossary

Frequently asked questions

What is working memory in simple terms?

The ability to hold information in mind while actively using it. Examples: remembering a phone number while walking to the phone, holding the next ingredient in mind while measuring the current one, or recalling the next step of shoe tying while your hands are doing the current step.

How does working memory affect shoe tying?

Shoe tying requires holding the next step in mind while your hands are completing the current one. If working memory is shaky, the next step falls out of mind under the load of the current one — the child appears to forget how to tie, but they actually forgot only the next step.

Is working memory the same as paying attention?

Related but different. Attention is staying focused on the task. Working memory is what you are actively holding in your head while focused. They affect each other but they are separable systems.

Do kids with ADHD have working memory issues with shoe tying?

Often, yes. Working memory is one of the executive functions most affected by ADHD, and it shows up directly in tasks like shoe tying that require holding a sequence in mind under physical demand.

How can I reduce the working memory demand during practice?

Externalize the sequence: use a visual step card, a fixed verbal script that you repeat the same way every time, and chunk 14 steps into 3 phases (first knot, two loops, loop the loops) instead of trying to hold 14 in mind.

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